The latest lockdown in WA is a stark reminder that Australia is still vulnerable to Covid-19. Making any kind of plan in this environment is pretty fraught with doubt, but a wedding? We get it, it can be tough. Couples counsellor, Natalie Claire King, has a few thoughts on staying sane during the planning process, and making sure you both enjoy this time together…
Avoiding wedding stress during a global pandemic
Planning a wedding can be stressful enough, without the added uncertainty and confusion that Covid-19 has now brought into our lives. You may have had to postpose, reschedule or even cancel the date you planned to wed. With this imposed change it’s understandable if you’ve found yourself going through a mix of emotions like sadness, loss, anxiety and perhaps even a pinch of guilt, telling yourself, “others have it worse”. And while that might be true, what you’re going through is valid and it’s ok to be angry, cry or feel anything in between.
Here are a few tips to help you keep calm and avoid getting caught in extra stress while navigating the wedding realm through Covid-19.
Surrender and slow down
Often the stress associated with planning a wedding is brought on by the constraints of having to organise everything by the set date. Take this deadline away and you may find the pressure eases. Having an abundance of time – and for those facing lockdown, time at home – gives you the opportunity to slow down and spend however long you need on researching, considering and evaluating what exactly you and your partner want to create for your wedding day.
Keep connected as a couple
With the wedding date halted, this downtime is also a great opportunity to focus on your relationship, which can so often become an afterthought. Plan time together where your focus is outside of the wedding and instead focus on your dreams for married life together. If you need a helping hand, signing up for a Pre Marriage Counselling program can help you plan for your marriage and set you up with the necessary skills to talk honestly and openly together about any topic, in a way that brings you both closer.
Take time to relax
Whether it’s doing some yoga, getting a massage, meditating, taking a bath, reading a book, burning some essential oils or going for walk in nature, taking the time to intentionally calm your mind and nervous system is key to taking care of yourself and alleviating stress. By keeping well rested and relaxed, using whatever techniques work best for you, you’ll be better placed to manage the wedding planning process, combined with the chaos of Covid-19.
Have a backup plan
With various restrictions coming and going, and then coming back again, trying to keep certain plans in place will be challenging. If you can plan for the unknown by developing a Plan B or even C, you’re going to be better placed to manage the unpredictability that comes with having a wedding during Covid-19. Protect you and your partner’s feelings of being disappointed by considering an alternative to your original plans, keeping in mind the things that are most important to you both.
Share the Load
Stop telling yourself that you should be able to manage the stress of wedding planning and Covid-19 confusion on your own. When life gets tough, the best thing we can do is reach out and share the load with another. You and your partner are in this together – now and for the long haul. You need each other in those moments of stress, to help each other cope and co-regulate. When you can find a way to talk and share these with one another, you create a sacred space for you both to feel heard and supported. Connection, especially with a loved one, is the best antidote to anxiety.
Article Natalie Claire King |